Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Whale Breath

Quotes of the day:

"You must be Irish." This from the bus driver as I tried to board on the wrong side. Does he think the only visitors to NZ are either Brits, Irish or Aussies? What would make me Irish by, like the residents of 200 other coutries in the world, I'm accustomed to left sided car?

"You cannot do laundry. There is no laundry. One machine is out of order and one machine is in use. By me." Imagine this with a heavy German accent and manner, from one of the roomies of the day, Rolf.

"Ugh. Whale breath." Quite right little man. A humpbakc whale surfaced near the boat and spouted out through the blow hole, thoroughly polluting the air with the scent of rotting crill. All to the delight of several leaping dolphins. A pod of ten were running with the whale and doign high sopeed passes in front of the boat. They were much more shy when we were actually in the frezzing cold water, but I did get a couple of drive by sightings. However, the cold water made me pant nearly uncontrollably and that might have been a slight turn-off. We were told to sing into our snorkels and, "Act dolphin-like." Right. I guess that would be quote #1.

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Ten Things, Fast

1. It is not just warm here, it is is summer. 16 hours of glorious daylight.
2. Everyone says "Awesome" all the time.
3. The toilets have two buttons to flush. They look like the on/off symbols on electronics (the half moon and full moon). What does this mean? Both do the job. Is one to select a button based on the amount of water that might be required? The guidebooks say nothing on this matter. I must take some Kiwis out and get them pissed (not literally, just drunk) so that I can ask.
4. They put corn and coconut in everything. Why? And they sell a disturbing array of cheese sandwiches, the likes of which I thought only came out of my kitchen when I was out of proper food. Cheese and cream corn. Cheese and pinneapple. Cheese and baked beans. Cheese and onion. Cheese and tomato. Got it.
5. They don't do homeland security. Domestic flights require only a ticket. No Xray, no metal detector, no bag search, pat down or magic wanding. You give them your ticket, a $5 departure fee and get on the plane. Apparently no one is going to hijack a commuter jet -- they are too far from any other land mass to make it worth it, or no one here is that motivated. Or they just want your $5 and don't care what you bring on board. They also don't wear seatbelts -- in cars or on the planes, and there is no safety lecture about your seat cushing becoming a floatation device upon take-off.
6. In the mahjor cities you see signs aroudn that say' "Alcohol free zone" but there are bars everywhere. I can only assume this means you can't have it out on the streets in these areas.
7. The Maori (native Polynessian descendants) still make grass skirts and they take 6 weeks to prepare. An exacto knife is the tool of choice. And now I will be attending no further culture enrichement presentations for the duration of this adventure. Yeah.
8. There are 4.1 million people in this country, the same as Minnesota. There are over 130 million sheep. Happy farmers.
9. I've been to three cities now and had only as many encounters with Americans, one in each locale. Apparently our economy really does suck. People thibk $2 million dollar houses are now worth $300K in the 'US and that is the standard. Because we were all living in $2MM houses last year, right?
10. None of these crazy people driving on the wrong side of the road have run me over yet, as I looked the opposite way for oncoming traffic.